“Yes folks, the Covid Cult has all the answers to your problems. We are there for you.
We have charismatic leaders who will wow you with their plan to fix everything.
We have forced lock downs that will protect you! WE, your fearless leaders, love you and will do what’s best for you, even if it destroys everything you have, don’t worry, you did it for the cause and that’s all that matters! Fear not, our brothers and sisters in arms are working tirelessly to ensure you will receive monies to continue in the cause.
We have a uniform too! It involves covering your face to proclaim to all your devotion to the cause. For the good of the body, you MUST shame anyone you see not wearing a face covering! They are heretics, and are a danger to us all! Find them and report them immediately! You will be rewarded on Twitter and Facebook, amen.
We are very close to a divine cure. Please, do not take matters into your own hands, that will lead to your destruction. You must wait patiently, the cure is coming, our Patron Saint Gates has said so, blessed is his name.”